Played by: Dean Paul Martin
Seen in episodes: All
Occupation: Research Scientist at Humanidyne
Full name: William Hayes
Relatives: Mother (Ruth), Father
Billy is the outgoing, idealistic, and sometimes klutzy, leader of the Misfits. He's good at thinking on his feet and he masterminds the plans on the missions – usually wacky ones, but they tend to work out right in the end. He's not judgmental about others, even when, like with Augie, they're thought to be loony. He tries to fight for the little guy and he doesn't pass up an opportunity to go help save someone or prove a friend isn't crazy.
When put in a tight situation Billy schmoozes and tries to talk his way out of it, resorting if need be to stretching the truth (to both friends and foes) – though it doesn't always work. He often puts his foot in his mouth, sometimes saying something about somebody that he doesn't know is listening; this happened with both Brick and The Fly.
Forming the Misfits of Science and watching them do good made Billy feel really good about himself and about being a leader to them. This makes him feel that much worse when something he leads them on doesn't work out like he'd hoped.
Billy has an adventurous nature and, aside from when the other Misfits had to convince him to help Sarah on her mission to free the animals from Vivatech, is always the first one to suggest 'let's do it'. He also has a sensitive nature that is usually covered up by the outgoing and pushy part of his personality. He can act a little childlike in his enthusiasm about stuff, and also has a tendency to overreact to things he doesn't like – like when his project gets classified. He has an off-the-wall sense of humor, and he enjoys being active and athletic.
When it comes to chatting up girls, poor Billy has absolutely no luck. Whenever he sees a pretty girl on the street and tries to get her attention or phone number they just keep right on walking. The worst of his troubles was when he fell for Sherri – since she turned out to be an international drug dealer. He never learns his lesson though and a pretty girl walking by will still turn his head – not that he can really be blamed, living so close to both Hollywood and the beach provides him with plenty of females parading themselves around.
Superpower
Billy has no superpower per se, unless it's the power of persuasion; he can talk anyone into just about anything. His strength is using this to rally the others and get them to use their powers to their best extent. He knows the capabilities of the other Misfits and their powers, and strategizes accordingly during the missions, almost like a military general – only without any of the military aspects.
Research
Billy is a really good research scientist with interests in many different things pertaining to his field of Human Anomalies. The problem is that it can sometimes be too many things and each project doesn't get finished with as much productive speed and efficiency as the company may desire. Billy takes his science very seriously, just not his work - which of course causes friction with Dick.
—Projects:
- Elastic Skin.
- Transicon unit. A device he developed/invented with El that translates computer input from one language or set of codes to another.
- The Physician's Friend. A complete biodiagnostics machine. It still has some bugs.
- A project with El on operating motors using high-frequency soundwaves. They used parts from radio-controlled toys to save Humanidyne money.
- Memory experiments (that he forgot to complete the reports on).
- A project with El on analyzing the dreams of dogs.
History & Relationship...
...with El
Billy and El are best buds. They've known each other since college and room together at the beach house (though El sometimes has to get after Billy about not having his share of the rent money ready on time). El keeps Billy grounded and Billy looks to El for his opinion before he makes decisions. Billy knows El is capable of a lot and, just as he does with the other Misfits, he pushes him to be his best. They can argue without fighting and know pretty much how the other is going to act in a situation.
El doesn't like it when Billy gets him into "schemes", and he isn't shy about telling Billy when he thinks he's taking something too far. They're always getting into trouble together – tied up, locked in rooms – but they always work out a way out together.
When Billy could tell there was something between El and Deanna, he tried to make sure it could blossom.
...with Gloria
Billy recruited Gloria for the Misfits of Science, which had the added benefit of getting her out of juvenile hall. He needed her power for the mission and he thought that using her TK for something noble would really build her confidence and self-esteem. He'd known of her TK from the studies they'd done at Humanidyne a year and a half earlier. Though something unpleasant must've happened during those studies, because when Billy came to the jail to recruit Gloria, she used her TK to rip the sink off the wall and sent it flying straight for his head.
Gloria gets frustrated or incensed at Billy for his behavior sometimes, but ultimately she considers him a really good friend. When Billy was in jail over the blender and the news was painting a bad picture of him, Gloria stood up for him, saying he wasn't just the Misfits' leader but that "he's our friend".
...with Johnny B
Billy and Johnny B's personalities clash whenever Johnny B is being inflexible about something he thinks won't work (or he thinks is too dumb or too crazy), and Billy is being overly enthusiastic, letting his sense of getting the job done outweigh his sense of reputation. However at other times, it's Johnny B who's being reckless or excited, and Billy has to tell him 'whoa, B-man'. And there are even times when Johnny B asks Billy if he's got any of his great ideas, because if so, they could really use one right about then.
Johnny B likes to tease Billy sometimes, like when Billy was saying of Link, "He seems to like everybody". Johnny B answered with, "Yeah, everybody except Hayes", and got a glare from Billy for it. Johnny B has also saved Billy's life a couple of times.
Billy doesn't want Johnny B taking unnecessary risks, so he's always sure to ask him if he's got enough juice for the job or can handle the amount of voltage involved. And, except for the times when he has to tell Billy he's tapped, Johnny B is always up for the challenge.
The incident only came to a close three years later when Billy went to where Johnny B was hiding out in the desert to ask his help rescuing Beef and Dr. Momquist. Johnny B didn't let go of his grudge easily, but after he'd fired two large bolts at Billy's feet, and Billy had apologized in his own semi-unapologetic way, the entire thing was laid to rest and hasn't been brought up since.
...with Jane
Jane and Billy had known each other from before. They had been seeing each other, but things hadn't gone right and Jane had called it off. However, during the Misfits' first mission, she got to know Billy a whole lot better – what he was like when it really came down to it – and she fell for him all over again. There was just the little hitch of her being pregnant.
Jane couldn't find the nerve to tell Billy about the baby (El was the one who eventually told him), because even though she considered their relationship to be honest, she didn't want to jeopardize it in any way. Though once Billy did know about Jane's previous relationship and the baby, he didn't change towards her at all, except to lay off the fat jokes now that he knew the cause of her weight gain. They don't talk about taking their relationship any further, but they do occasionally banter like a married couple.
Fashion
Billy dresses casually in button-down shirts, jeans, sneakers, and no tie (though he does say he owns one). He frequently wears his Misfits of Science jackets – more than any of the other Misfits do – and he sometimes wears both together with the hooded one underneath the one with striped cuffs. He wears his hair short and brushed back with no forced part.
At work he wears his lab coat, perpetually laden down with a myriad of items protruding from all the pockets and the sleeves rolled up, but still no tie. It doesn't bother him to wear shirts with loud prints, like during parties out on the deck of the beach house, and he cuts a nice figure in a suit when the Misfits need to dress up formally or businessmanlike for disguises. When the Misfits went to Buxton's elite party, Billy borrowed his fancy outfit from one of the guys at the lab.
Trivia
- He was against doing an endorsement for the governor and refused to have the Misfits pose with him in their uniforms.
- He knows a little Spanish.
- As El put it to Boy Charles, Billy is "into this gender-bender thing".
- He thinks wrestling is "the theater of the stupid".
- He watches a lot of movies and TV, including 'E.T.', 'Donahue', 'Miami Vice', and 'Mission: Impossible'.
- He considers himself to have a feminine side - the type to cry at 'E.T.'.
- He went to college with Brick Tyler, where they played football together – Brick as passer, Billy as catcher. Billy's nickname for Brick is 'Bricker', and Brick's for Billy is 'Bill Boy', which Billy hates.
- He and El were the ones who did Brick's bionics. As Billy puts it, they "practically rebuilt the guy from scratch".
- As Oscar describes it, Billy is "a gambler. A born risk-taker." He used to play the lottery, and he bet on the Wolves' basketball games.
- He went to college with Sarah, and used to get himself mixed up in her goodhearted activist schemes. After they would pull a stunt they would hide out in a Happy Day Inn, such as after they stole the cannon from the R.O.T.C.
- When he was arrested by Jasper, it was his father who was the one most affected by it – refusing to talk about it or be on 'Close Up News'.
- He can play guitar. He played it while in prison for 6 weeks on spy charges.
- One of his classmates in high school was Warren "Moose" Rooneski, who used to bully him. They've lost touch over the years.
- His first teacher was Mrs. Edith Bone. She remembers Billy as being "a real pain". She says she caught him selling test answers to the other boys – something Billy doesn't recall doing.
- He rescued Dick when Buchre was holding Dick at gunpoint.
- He and El bought themselves an embossed business card that read: 'Doctors Hayes & Lincoln – purveyors of very weird science'.
- He was sore at Vivatech because they got a couple of grants that were supposed to go to H.I.T.
- He says he knows a lot about magic, and practiced different tricks before the mission with Nikolai.
- He has very vivid dreams. He had the strange dream with the alternate reality, the awful dream where he was wrestling miserably, and a great dream where he was onto his second Nobel Prize.
- He went to medical school in the Caribbean.
Links:
Brick Sarah Nikolai Augie Mrs. Hayes Alt Billy
| Billy: They're calling us a subversive organization, El. ... I'm serious. ... They're calling me a subversive. Do you have any idea what this is gonna do to my mother? | (01-02) |
| Billy (after Jane is shocked to learn El can shrink): I told you about that, right? ... Yeah, I told you. | (01-02) |
| Billy (when he and El are first recruiting Johnny B): Well, he said that if he ever saw us again, that, uh... he'd blow our heads off. | (01-02) |
| Billy: Dreams! See, that was— El, I was having this great dream. I mean, I was on my second Nobel Prize, and— I tried to wake up, El, honest to God, I did. | (16) |
| Billy: Locked! They're always locked! | (06) |
| Billy (after El shrinks): I love that. | (12) |
| Billy (after Brick leaves him behind): When he comes out... I'm probably gonna kill 'im. | (09) |
| Billy (about Brick): 'Mr. Perfect' needs help? I mean, God's gift to football, women, and country needs help from me? | (09) |
| Billy: I gotta tell ya, it’s unconstitutional when the government classifies your own work. | (04) |
| Billy: No, El. I’m telling ya, you’re blowing this thing way out of proportion here, okay? They can’t hang ya for talkin’ to aliens. | (04) |
| Billy (about experiment): You guys, one of 'em has to be right-side-up or it's not gonna work. | (05) |
| Billy: Hey, they wouldn't–they wouldn't shoot an ice cream truck, would they? | (05) |
| Dispatch: Police emergency line. Billy: Yeah, yeah, look. Uh, I wanna report a murder. Actually, two murders, uh, but they haven't happened yet, so you guys gotta hurry. Dispatch: Slow down. Slow down, now. Who's this that hasn't been murdered? Billy: Dwayne Schott. Dispatch: Yeah, the racer. I just watched him qualify on TV. Billy: No, no, no, no. You don't understand. That–that was somebody else. Dispatch: Looked like him in the interview. Billy: Look, it–it was a different somebody else, okay? The real Dwayne Schott has been kidnapped. His–his twin is posing as him until we find the real one. Which we already did, but now, see, the bad guys got the other Dwayne Schott, and the real Dwayne Schott is about to be shot, and–and if we— Hello? Hello? | (10) |
| Billy: What, by doing a top secret mission? Top secret. I can't even believe I'm saying those words. | (09) |
| Billy: Eighty-three?! Miss Nance: Eighty-three. Billy: You sold eighty-three tickets to the company picnic?! Who to?! Miss Nance: Friends. Billy: Eighty-three friends?! I don't even know eighty-three people. | (06) |
| Billy: Yeah, Bob, let's talk ballpark here, okay? Wait a second. I mean, ninety-three over a hundred, that doesn't sound so bad to me. I mean it's a hell of a lot better than I used to get on my biology exams. Project Manager: If we keep losing water at this rate, we'll be super-critical in five minutes. Billy: You guys grade a lot harder here. | (08) |
| Billy: Hey, hey. Wait a minute here, Mr. Classified Goose. Let me tell you something. If you guys had been talking to us, we might have been talking to you. Hell, we didn’t know we were giving directions to a damn ballistic missile! | (04) |
| Billy: That's not it, El. It's 'cause they wear ties. Big deal. That make them good scientists? No. I can wear a tie. I own a tie, El. | (11) |
| Billy: Absolutely, Richard. You know something? You're right. A hundred percent commitment to finish one project here in the lab, get it done completely. El: Billy, let's go, I have something interesting. Billy: I'm in. | (07) |
—Leader
| Billy: But when I see you— When I see you guys, I see something different. I see a team. I see a team that I know can make a difference in the world today. ... Now are you Misfits ready to kick a little bunny around here, or what? | (01-02) |
| Billy: I'm telling you guys, I had a feeling in my gut that we were really onto something. | (03) |
| Billy: Alright, look. I got—I got a plan. It's a little complicated, but I think it could work. | (04) |
| Billy: I'm gonna be the decoy here, okay? And as soon as you guys see my signal, you're on. But you gotta wait till you see my signal. Alright? | (04) |
| Billy: Maybe I didn't go over this part of the plan too well. You guys are supposed to— Gloria: Hayes, get in! | (05) |
| Billy: Jail! Come on, is this Team Misfit, or not? | (05) |
| Billy: Glo. Hey, don't give up now. Okay? I know you can do it. Look, we'll do it together, okay? Let's give it a try. One more. Come on. | (06) |
| Billy: No! Because you love the game of basketball. You represent what this sport is all about, Fly. Doin' your best. Playing with the team. Excel against all odds. | (14) |
| Billy: I'll tell you what's not right. Throwin' a game is not right, Glo. Now, The Fly's been out there playin' against two teams tonight. With El – and a little help – we can even those odds. | (14) |
| Billy: Come on, think, Hayes, think. | (07) |
| Billy (to El): My point is, that it's always been our policy to protect weird people from the warmongers, right? So now that you're weird, why should we change our policy? | (01-02) |
| Billy: Look, this is a big choice, okay? I mean, we should weigh our options. We either believe two famous, well-respected scientists – your future employers – or a paranoid felon who's lied to us repeatedly. Personally... I'm with her. | (11) |
| Billy: That's it! Hold it! Time out. Stop. I can't take it any longer. Look, I owe myself two minutes. And you guys can't start counting till I sit down. | (15) |
| Billy: This little man just came across eight thousand miles of ocean and a few hundred yards of desert, just to put that little doll of his on the shuttle. Logger, he brought the soul of his dead little boy halfway across the world just to send it up on your precious top secret shuttle, and dammit, that's exactly what he's gonna do. ... If you want us to start tossin' lightning bolts, tossin' the guns out of your hands, then we can do that. That's fine. ... We may even beat ya. We're gonna help Link put that carving on that shuttle. With you or without you. | (05) |
—Schmoozing
| Billy: Now listen, Boy Charles. Now we can run around this lab and trash it, and break everything in sight, all day long. But do you think that's gonna get you to Switzerland? I don't think so. Not a prayer, pal. You're dreaming, okay? Not even Wisconsin. Jus— Excuse me, got a minute? Boy Charles, look, why don't— What do ya want? Why don't we just sit. We'll schmooze, we'll talk, you're a nutty guy. I mean, we love you. Why don't you just— Okay, look. Alright, pal. Wha—what if I promised you like, a real warm cage, you know, with the sports section at the bottom, and all the swiss cheese you can eat, and I—and I promise no more psychedelic burgers. Now then. Is—is that a—is that a deal... or what? That's the deal. | (08) |
| Billy: Hey listen, man, I'm not one of those people— Well, ya know, one of those people that buy all that junk that you read about and see on the tube, ya know. Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-I think you guys have gotten a bad rap all the way down the line. And I really mean that. I mean, I never even watched 'Mafia Princess' last month. | (16) |
| Billy: Now, alright. So, it's a big door. We all see that. I think we accept that. The door is... is really big. But how do we know what's really behind the door? And I think—I think that's the question. You know, I mean this water obstacle thing - it could be nothing. I mean, it could be like a little pond. A hot tub or something, you know? What's the point of injecting something negative into this thing if we don't really have to. And Dr. Mom said – And Dr. Mom, I mean, he designed this thing, you know? And if Dr. Mom says that Beef can handle it, then I'm sure it's okay. | (01-02) |
| Billy: Hi. Listen. I know what this looks like. I know I'm in here. I know I'm in this secure area. And you guys probably think that I'm the—I'm the guy that tripped the alarm. Pr–probably, huh? Well, you know... It probably looks like I'm some sort of a criminal or something, huh? I know that. I know that. But see, what I really am. What I-I really am, is a scientist. A doctor scientist. Um, on a scientific investigation, to inspect this lab. And see, I think if you guys—if you guys look really carefully, you'll see that there's absolutely nothing gone, okay? | (11) |
—Nutty Guy
| Billy: That’s a great hat. You think I’d look good in a hat like that, wouldn’t I? | (03) |
| Billy: Hey, I don't have anything against maturity, okay? Actually, maturity is a very important thing. Where the hell's my little car? | (07) |
| Billy: First I find out the girl of my dreams is playing house with Scarface. Then I end up tied to a toilet. ... I woke up in such a good mood. | (07) |
| Billy: Afternoon, Jasper. Just writin' a lonesome train song. Ever tried? It's not easy. Thought I'd maybe start with a lonesome bus song. Kinda work my way up. You know, one hit's all it takes. I think I could own this jail. I could own a hundred jails. | (17) |
| Billy (to Sherri): Uh, excuse me, ma'am? I think you dropped your walrus. | (07) |
| Billy: Look, Sarah, when we're in prison, do me a favor. No folk songs, okay? | (11) |
| Billy: Listen, El, I meant what I said. If we go to jail, you can have the top bunk. I owe you at least that much. | (10) |
| Billy: Well, what about her friend then, huh? 'Pen pal'. 'Pen'. It probably stands for penitentiary. | (13) |
| Billy: Look, you know, I think we oughta be optimistic. I mean, how much information do we really need, huh? We know who the bad guy is. We know about the yellow turban. And we know there are two dead guys in this closet. | (09) |
| Billy: I don’t get it. In the movies, there’s, like, always a-a hidden button, or a—or a crack, or something. | (03) |
| Billy: I mean he's just a little guy in a loincloth, and no shoes, and no money, and no map to the stars' homes. I mean, how far can he get? | (05) |
| Billy: Am I the only guy around here that watches TV? | (07) |
| Billy: Hey, Jane, look. It's, um, a lot more fun than doing my laundry. Hey. Take care of the football, okay? | (08) |
| Billy (about Beef): Okay, this is great. We have a walking popsicle here. | (01-02) |
| Billy: Well listen. Hey, th–this magnetism, it may not be such a bad thing. You could always get a job holding notes for a refrigerator. | (11) |
| Billy (after Johnny B opens the door without having to do anything): It looked kinda locked. | (14) |
| El: Sympathetic twin. It happens lots of times. Where one twin'll get hurt and the other'll feel pain. Or, one will hear bad news and the other will feel sad. Billy: Yeah, like one guy goes to the beach, the other guy gets a tan, ya know? | (10) |
| Billy: It could be dangerous, Glo. Gloria: Finding a sheet of paper? Billy: It could be dangerous, Glo. You know, poison ink, paper cuts. | (14) |
| Billy (about Dick): Yeah, I know. He can't be a security leak. Maybe an insecurity leak. | (17) |
| Billy: Alright, this next one's the one. I can feel it. El: It's the last one, Billy. Billy: Well then, we should stand a pretty good shot at it, huh? | (11) |
| Billy: B-Man, I don't think you understand something. This machine is it! Okay? I mean, we're talkin' real science here. Alright? I mean this thing's got dual sensory matrix. It's got internal cross-checking. It's got a brand new imaging... something. I mean, if it can't find anything, I— Tell you something, I can't think of one single reason why not. Lonnie: I had it sideways. Johnny B: Hayes. | (10) |
Comments & Discussion (0)
—Post a Comment
Feel free to put any questions, comments, or discussion pertaining to this page's topic here. (All submissions are moderated so there will be a delay before they appear.)