Transcript 5

Transcript – 05

========== 00:00 to 01:21 ==========

exterior (nighttime) – ocean:

Link paddles his boat through the water and eventually reaches a deserted beach, Venice Beach, where he disembarks and guides his boat ashore.

venice beach:

Later, after having built a fire, he pulls out a carving of a man from the pouch on his loincloth. He stares at it with a deep connection – it is meaningful to him. Then, clutching it tightly in one hand and something made of paper in the other, he starts chanting. Once he’s done, he lays the paper onto the sand and holds it down with a rock (the rock and its shadow obscure what’s on the paper). He then lays back on the sand himself, by the fire which is now burning low, and falls asleep.

========== 01:21 to 02:18 ==========

exterior (daytime) – venice beach:

The next morning, a plane roars as it passes by overhead. Link wakes up and looks at the plane keenly.

LINK: Shunda.

Link pulls out his carving again and holds it up to the plane.

LINK: Shunda.

Link gets up and chases after the plane, shouting.

LINK: Shunda! Shunda! Shunda!

The plane takes no notice, of course, and continues on its way. Link reaches the water’s edge and has to stop. He calls pitifully to the plane a last time.

LINK: Shunda.

Link gives a frustrated yell as the plane gets further away. His shoulders sag and he turns back to his campsite.

(“California Girls” starts up.)

2 ladies in bikinis lower their sunglasses to stare at Link. A cop has arrived in his car and gets out, staring at Link as well. Link stares back, unsure what’s going on. The cop pulls out his billy club and starts leading Link away. Link reaches for his paper, still on the ground under the rock, but the cop drags Link off without letting him take it. The paper is left behind – it’s a magazine cover torn from World Geographic, showing the Space Shuttle.

========== 02:18 to 03:40 ==========


========== 03:40 to 05:02 ==========

exterior (daytime) – humanidyne:

interior – h.i.t. lab:

In the lab, Link is sedated on a gurney and Billy is leaning over him, shining a flashlight to look at his eyes.

BILLY: [to ambulance attendants:] First of all, you guys shouldn’t have sedated him like this. Second of all, he belongs somewhere else. [straightens up] Like the anthropology department at the University, but not here. I mean, look at this guy. He’s a primitive.

Dick arrives and walks up to Billy, where he puts on his glasses and holds something out to him.

DICK: Hayes. Uh, do you know what this is?

Billy looks.

BILLY: Yeah, a business card.

DICK: Uh, it’s a business card.

BILLY: It’s nice.

DICK: [to ambulance attendants:] This is an embossed business card, to be exact.

El joins the crowd at the gurney and Billy looks over.

EL: [to Billy:] Great, it’s all set.

BILLY: Alright, can we take him right now?

EL: Yeah, no problem.

BILLY: Alright, let’s roll. [to ambulance attendants:] Come on.

Dick turns back to Billy as the attendants start pushing the gurney with Link toward the door. Billy, El, and Dick follow.

DICK: I just want to go through this with you. [reading off business card:] Doctors Hayes and Lincoln, purveyors of very weird science.

Billy (ignoring Dick, as usual) spots an experiment being conducted using the ubiquitous 2 volunteers: they’re strapped onto two beds that could be used for astronaut testing, in the upside-down position.

BILLY: [to tech:] No, no, no, no, no, no. You guys, one of ‘em has to be right-side-up or it’s not gonna work.

The tech rights one of the beds.

DICK: [still going on about the business card:] I-is this your idea of a hundred and forty-three dollar joke?

interior – hallway:

The 5 of them and the gurney head into the hallway, where strains of “Sunshine of Your Love” can be heard.

EL: No, Richard, it’s our idea of truth in advertising.

Billy looks around for the source of the music; El puts his hand up to his ear as the music gets louder.

DICK: Well, it’s my idea of flagrantly disregarding the memo I sent you on your expenses.

They reach Miss Nance’s desk as Dick finally notices the music and puts his finger to his ear. A tech hurrying by and a waiting patient have their ears covered also

DICK: [annoyed:] Where is that hideous noise coming from?

Miss Nance is standing at her desk, putting things in her purse – she isn’t covering her ears. A guy is sitting in a chair nearby – the song is playing from the guy’s open mouth.

MISS NANCE: Des Moines. He picks up the rockabilly station from Streebsport at night.

El hurries to open the doors for the attendants, then follows them out, covering his ears. Billy puts his fingers in his ears and peers into the guy’s mouth, then gives his doctorly assessment of the poor guy’s condition.

BILLY: Looks like bridgework with a taste for hard rock. Alright, why don’t we get this guy to a dentist before his brain fries.


Billy heads off.

DICK: I’m still speaking, Hayes. Where are you going?

Miss Nance looks over at Dick and puts on a pair of sunglasses.

MISS NANCE: [as if the question was meant for her:] Lunch.

Miss Nance heads off as well. Dick looks at his watch – is it that time already? – then drops his arms in frustration and turns instead to the guy, glancing at his watch again.

DICK: Excuse me. Do you think that, maybe you could get Paul Harvey and the news?

Dick tilts the guy’s head like he would a radio dial, and tunes in a different channel.

========== 05:02 to 08:32 ==========

exterior (daytime) – Habitat:

(“At the Zoo” starts up.)

At the University’s Anthropology Department in the Primate Research Habitat, Link is sitting despondently in one section overlooking the water. A worker walks a tiger over a footbridge to another section. At the gate to the tall chain-link fence surrounding the Habitat, Billy and El arrive with Dr. Deanna Walter.

EL: So, Dr. Walter, how do you think he’s doing?

A guard unlocks the gate and opens it for them. Billy, El, and Deanna enter and walk through the lush, tree-filled environment toward the Habitat.

DEANNA: Hey, I’m a little concerned, you guys. I don’t think the sedative those guys gave him did much for his temperament. He doesn’t trust me. I can’t get through.

BILLY: Yeah, well, you know, wouldn’t you feel a little edgy if you were locked up like this?

DEANNA: Hey, we’re just lucky the zoology department’s going along with us on this. We had nowhere else to put ‘im.

They go down some steps and pass the footbridge, which spans a short waterfall. (Sign says: “Anthropology Department. Primate Research Habitat”.)

EL: Where do you think he’s from?

DEANNA: Somewhere in the Philippines, judging from his appearance. Although he isn’t responding to any of the tribal languages. There’re people in the rainforest there that have never even seen modern man.

EL: I read that. National Geographic I think it was.

They walk up some other steps to arrive at one of the observation areas – there’s a stone table and benches beside a bulletin board and a blackboard. (The blackboard has writing on it, part of which reads: “Parriott=no clue”.)

(“At the Zoo” fades off.)

BILLY: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait. Whoa here. Time out.

Link, sitting on a rock on the other side of the water, looks up.

BILLY: Are you trying to tell me that this little guy just sailed six thousand miles just to do a little surfing on Venice Beach?

DEANNA: [smiles] It’s almost eight thousand. And it’s definitely not to go surfing.

Deanna goes up to the stone table and looks across the water at Link, who is holding his carving and looking at it.

DEANNA: Whatever he’s here for has something to do with that totem in his hand.

Link rubs his carving, looking across at Deanna.

DEANNA: But we can’t find out until we can get him to communicate.

El, now standing by Deanna, looks thoughtful.

EL: Do you mind if we try?

Deanna smiles up at El.

DEANNA: I’d like that.

Billy looks from Deanna to El, then frowns in thought.

DEANNA: Just keep your distance. I don’t want you getting hurt.

EL: Okay. Billy?

El heads off toward Link; Billy follows with a glance at Deanna. Link stands up from his rock – there are strangers heading for his territory!

BILLY: [to El:] Did you hear that?

EL: Hear what?

BILLY: The tone in her voice. She likes you.

EL: [in denial:] Billy, come on. She does not.

BILLY: El, I’m tellin’ you: she likes you.

Link runs past his boat (which has been brought to the Habitat along with him) to get to a place for confronting these intruders.

EL: Billy, it’s just your imagination.

Billy and El come to a stop as Billy presses his point.

BILLY: [insistent:] Okay, I don’t imagine things like that. Now the girl has a definite interest in you, and if you don’t ask her out this weekend—

EL: Look, look. We barely know each other.

Link stops next to a boulder and holds his carving up as a warning. Billy and El, still arguing, don’t notice though.

BILLY: Well, see you already have something in common.

El throws his hands up, irritated at Billy and not feeling at ease with the subject of conversation.

EL: Billy, I don’t wanna talk about this now.

Billy is undeterred.

BILLY: Now look, you’re the only one who doesn’t have a date this weekend, okay? And I’m tellin’ you, dancing in threes is really uncool.

El glances back where Deanna is waiting on the other side of the water.

BILLY: And even if Deanna hates you, I mean, how’re you gonna know unless you take a run by her anyway? Huh?

Billy looks toward Link, who’s still in his warning stance.

BILLY: I mean, take a look at Link here, huh? What a guy. I mean, how are we ever gonna know what he wants unless we ask him. Right? [looks back at El] Because, you know, El, in life, you gotta take chances. Ask Deanna out, what the hell you got to lose, huh?

El nods, looking nervous at the prospect, but convinced. Now that he’s won the argument, Billy turns his full attention to Link.

BILLY: [chummily:] Link, heyyy.

Link watches Billy, not able to understand his words.

BILLY: Nice digs, huh? [to El:] Is this nice?

EL: Beautiful.

BILLY: This is some nice stuff.

El glances appraisingly around the Habitat and grins in a friendly manner.

EL: Great.

BILLY: [to Link:] Reminds you a lot of home, huh?

Billy moves to walk closer to Link, but El grabs Billy's shoulders.

EL: Billy. Remember, Deanna said not to get too close.

BILLY: El. You can’t establish rapport without a little proximity. Okay? [turns back to Link] Link.

Billy waves his hand in a “Let’s dispense with the preamble” gesture and starts toward Link anew; El follows.

BILLY: We’re your friends. We’re just here to—to help you.

Link gestures with his carving and grunts warningly. Billy jerks back; El stops, looking worried. Link watches them. Billy then nods, as if he knows the cause of Link’s actions, and points to his own head.

BILLY: Sedative binge, right? Huh?

Link frowns.

BILLY: I’ve been there, don’t worry about it. [demonstrates a hammer hitting his head] Sledgehammer head? [gives a ‘Not a problem’ gesture] Tell ya what ya do. Relax a little.

Across the water, Deanna warily watches Billy’s attempt to approach Link.

BILLY: Just try to breathe.

Link leaves the boulder and grabs up a thick branch. He swings it at Billy, who dodges.

BILLY: Who-ho, Link!

Link backs up across the footbridge as Billy advances again, still trying to narrow the gap between them.

BILLY: Look, Link, all we wanna know is why you came here.

Link swings the branch again.

LINK: Oogala oogala!

Billy stops.

BILLY: Well, clears it up for me.

Billy glances to El, who shrugs.

BILLY: Whatever it is, it has to do something with his carving.

Billy, still looking toward El, heads toward Link again.

EL: [quickly:] Uh, Billy, I wouldn’t. Billy, I—

BILLY: [not listening to El’s warning] I think that’s the—

Link gives a yell as he hits Billy with the branch. Billy falls and rolls to the edge of the footbridge, where he catches on. El rushes forward.

EL: Billy! Hang on!

El grabs Billy’s arm to keep him from falling off.

EL: You okay?

Billy looks up from where he’s dangling over the edge.

BILLY: [looking at the bright side:] Well, I think AT&T had a better idea, but… we communicated!

El pulls Billy back onto the bridge.

BILLY: What the hell’s he doing now?

El looks over at Link.

EL: He’s, uh, humming.

BILLY: Humming?

Billy looks over: Link is crouched down with his eyes closed and his carving held to his head. He's rocking back and forth while – as El said – humming.

BILLY: Wait a minute. Music. Universal language.

========== 08:32 to 11:01 ==========

exterior (daytime) – Habitat:

Billy sits down on one of the stone benches and turns on a boombox lying on the grass beside him, and “Land of a 1000 Dances” starts playing. Two big cats, nearby in cages, sit up and take notice. Link is in a tree now, hitting it occasionally with the stick he’s holding. A harmonica starts playing the riff to the song and Link looks up as Johnny B approaches – he’s the one playing the riff. Link gives him a strange look. Johnny B finishes the riff and starts singing along to the song and snapping (no sparks!).

JOHNNY B: Na, na, na, na, na...

Link lifts his own hand and tries out a snap, smiling slightly at how it feels. Then his foot starts tapping. Billy, El, and Deanna are at the stone table watching from far off – Billy is dancing to the music; El (pencil behind his ear) is ready to write down Link’s actions, but mostly just watching Deanna; Deanna is looking through binoculars at Link and Johnny B.

DEANNA: It’s working! He’s tapping his toes. [to El:] You gonna write that down?

El quickly grabs up a notepad from the stone table and reaches for the pencil.

EL: Oh, yeah. Toe tapping. No problem.

Johnny B starts dancing to the music, showing Link how to dance to rock ‘n’ roll. Link jumps down from the tree, interested.

DEANNA: [excitedly:] Oh, he’s coming down from the tree!

Deanna shakes her head in amazement. El (done writing and back to watching Deanna) starts moving to the music as well. The big cats continue to listen. Link, a big smile on his face, tries to copy Johnny B’s dance moves. Deanna grins, even more amazed.

DEANNA: My god, he’s got him dancing.

El grins also.

EL: Dancing. [laughs, no doubt thinking about the upcoming dance] Yeah, dancing.

Link tosses his stick away and goes wholeheartedly into doing the dance moves.

JOHNNY B: Twist it, Link!

Johnny B does the Twist and Link copies it. Billy, El, and Deanna watch as Johnny B and Link dance across the area where Link’s boat is pulled onto shore. Billy sits down on one of the benches, still bopping to the music. Johnny B and Link dance across the footbridge. (The guard at the gate is also dancing to the music.)

JOHNNY B: [to the others, about Link:] The guy’s a regular Fred Astaire!

Johnny B and Link reach the others at the observation area. Johnny B hops onto a rock, does some air guitar moves, then hops back down again. Link continues with the follow-the-leader game – he hops onto the rock, does his own version of the air guitar moves, and hops down beside Johnny B. Johnny B laughs, impressed – it’s a good try! Link laughs also and El and Deanna join in. The song ends on the boombox. Billy smiles and claps. Link impulsively hugs Johnny B, who hugs Link back (Link has Johnny B’s harmonica clutched in his hand).

JOHNNY B: It’s alright, Link. It’s okay.

El and Deanna watch.

DEANNA: [pleased:] Looks like he finally found a friend.

Billy stands up.

BILLY: Yeah, sure, after I broke the ice.

El and Deanna both give Billy a look - they know Billy's statement is an exaggeration.

EL: Right.

Billy gives a "Yeah, I guess I can't get away with that" look. Link pulls out his carving and holds it up to Johnny B, pointing at it.

LINK: Keeya.

Johnny B points at the carving also.

JOHNNY B: [showing he understands:] That’s Keeya.

Link smiles.

LINK: [repeating happily:] Keeya.

Link then raises his carving into the air.

LINK: Shunda!

El writes these newest actions on the clipboard as the others watch Link.

BILLY: What’s he saying? What is it?

DEANNA: It’s the totem. Something about the sky.

Link nods and points at his carving again.

LINK: Keeya. Oomuma. Shunda!

Link points at the ground, making a circular motion with his arm, then places his carving on a flat rock inside the circle he just mimed.

BILLY: What, do you want to send it somewhere? Link?

JOHNNY B: No, no. He wants to leave it somewhere. He wants to leave it somewhere.

Link looks up hopefully at them and repeats the motion of making a circle.

BILLY: Yeah, but where? Where?

DEANNA: [realizing:] ‘Shunda’.

EL: Shunda. That’s it. Shunda. Of course.

Link smiles at them – they understand!

BILLY: Yeah, this Shunda.

EL: He wants to send it to Shunda!

[together:] BILLY: Yeah, Shunda! JOHNNY B: Shunda!

========== 11:01 to 11:52 ==========

exterior (daytime) – University:

KOMACK: That’s fine. But where’s Shunda?

DEANNA: That’s why we want to set him free.

KOMACK: Do you have any idea of the risk you’ll be taking?

interior – komack’s office:

Inside the office of Dr. Komack (director of the anthropology department), Billy and Deanna are facing Komack, who’s sitting at his desk; El is standing somewhat back, looking out the window.

KOMACK: The man is a primitive. We wanna keep him that way. Exposing him to any outside influences could ruin

Deanna cuts in, giving Komack a disdainful look.

DEANNA: Our studies? What we’re studying is why he came here.

KOMACK: [to Deanna:] I don’t think I have to tell you the reputation you’re getting for your lack of scientific controls.

El looks down; Billy rolls his eyes and walks over to the window, frustrated, as Komack goes on.

KOMACK: The dean, and the alumni committee, frankly, have been on my back about the chances you’ve been taking.

Deanna takes this silently.

BILLY: Chance— [walks back up to Komack’s desk] The guy paddled seven thousand mi—

DEANNA: Eight thousand.

BILLY: Eight thousand miles and you’re talking about taking chances here?

KOMACK: And what if he gets away?

BILLY: We won’t take our eyes off him. I give you my word.

Deanna nods.

KOMACK: [talking to Billy but looking at Deanna:] It’s not your word I want.

Deanna smiles.

DEANNA: You got it.

========== 11:52 to 14:12 ==========

interior – burger barn:

In the Burger Barn, Billy, El, Johnny B, Deanna, and Link (wearing an open-front tourist shirt) are all at one of the tables. Link points to a picture he’s just drawn on a napkin.

LINK: Shunda.

JOHNNY B: Right, Link. Tri-angle. [to others:] It’s just like all the rest.

Link points again.

LINK: Shunda!

El holds up a napkin Link has drawn on previously.

EL: This isn’t getting us anywhere.

DEANNA: We have to be patient. [to Johnny B:] Keep ‘im communicating.

Gloria arrives at their table, carrying a tray with their order.

GLORIA: [to Billy:] You think he’s gonna like these?

BILLY: If he’s got a tolerance for hot grease.

Link reaches over to the tray and grabs some coins off of it. Everyone watches. Link smiles at Johnny B, then puts one of them in his mouth. Billy reacts; Johnny B laughs. Link puts another coin in his mouth and tries to chew. Billy takes one of the burgers off the tray.

BILLY: No, Link, really. Try one of these. I mean, they taste a lot better. Well, not a lot better, but they, um… Link, come on.

Billy reaches to take the coins back from Link. Link snarls and slaps Billy’s hand away – Billy pulls back quickly as Johnny B grins and laughs again.

BILLY: Hey, whoa! Hey, uh, the quarters are fine. Uh, I’d stay away from the pennies – they probably give you a lot of heartburn.

El and Deanna watch, amused. Link puts another coin in his mouth. Billy tries instead to offer Link the burger.

BILLY: Link, come on.

Link glares at Billy and Billy freezes. Johnny B laughs and takes over. Billy gives the burger to Johnny B, who holds it out to Link.

JOHNNY B: [to Link:] Eat it, it’s good.

Link grabs the burger. He spits out the coins and takes a bite of the burger – without taking off the wrapper! Everyone covers their face in embarrassment except for Johnny B, who's amused by it.

JOHNNY B: Well that’s one way to handle the grease.

Link chews up the bite as Billy looks at Johnny B.

BILLY: You know, I could have given him the burger if I’d wanted to. I mean, uh, it’s not like it’s a personal thing or anything between us, you know.

JOHNNY B: Yes it is. Face it, the guy knows who’s cool and [gestures to Billy] who’s not.

Billy reacts; Gloria gives them a “C’mon, you two” gesture as Johnny B grins, then she sits down at the table.

GLORIA: Okay. So where do we start?

Deanna watches Link, who’s eating the rest of the burger.

DEANNA: At the beach where he landed. We’ll let ‘im loose with Johnny B and see where he takes us.

EL: [nods] Right. And I guess the rest of us’ll spread out and form a safety net.

Deanna nods. Link puts the coins in his pouch and suddenly freezes, looking across the room.

LINK: Shunda.

Deanna watches Link closely.

BILLY: Alright, but look, keep an eye out for this triangle. I mean, he’s not writing ‘em on a napkin for—for nothing, ya know?

Link points across the room.

LINK: [insistent:] Shunda!

Link stands up quickly and the others watch as he rushes across the room.

JOHNNY B: Oh no.

In his haste, Link knocks into a Burger Barn waitress with a tray – she squeals as the tray goes flying. To get a closer look at what he saw, Link jumps onto a table under a window where 3 construction workers are eating.

CONSTRUCTION WORKER: What the hell do you think you’re doin’?!

Link looks out the window: across the street at a bus stop is a man wearing a Space Shuttle Discovery jacket.

LINK: [excitedly:] Shunda! Shunda! Shunda!

Outside, the man heads for the bus.

LINK: [desperately:] Shunda!

Construction Worker from the table reaches for Link, who watches the man get on the bus and the door close.

LINK: [desperately:] Shunda! Shunda!

CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Get off the table, punk!

LINK: [wailing:] Shunda!!

Construction Worker grabs Link.

CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Shunda on this, buddy.

Construction Worker throws Link onto the table next to the Misfits’ table – the table tips over and Link tumbles on top of the 2 patrons. Billy, Johnny B, and Gloria quickly stand. Johnny B pushes Construction Worker angrily.

JOHNNY B: You fenderhead!

Deanna starts to stand up, but El pulls her back into her seat.

CONSTRUCTION WORKER: [to Johnny B, angrily:] Listen, you punk!

Construction Worker pokes Johnny B repeatedly.

BILLY: [to Construction Worker, advising:] I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

Construction Worker doesn't back off.

JOHNNY B: Hey, why don’t you chill out, Floyd.

Billy nods – the guy really should follow their advice.

GLORIA: [worried:] Hey. Johnny B, don’t!


Johnny B puts his hand on Construction Worker’s chest and starts up an electrical charge. Construction Worker’s eyes widen and he starts shaking. Johnny B then shoves and Construction Worker goes flying, sliding along the hay-strewn floor of the Burger Barn. El stands quickly, but Deanna pulls him back to his seat. A 2nd construction worker stands up and leaps forward, his hand raised to punch.


Gloria uses her TK and stops the 2nd construction worker’s hand mid-punch, inches from Billy’s face. The 2nd construction worker looks confused – his hand won’t move! Gloria uses her TK to throw him back to his seat. The 3rd construction worker moves to help him.

BILLY: [to Gloria:] Thanks, babe. [with a bit of a swagger:] I just didn’t wanna hurt ‘im.

Billy looks over at the 2nd and 3rd construction workers.

BILLY: Hey, uh, listen. We just wanna buy you guys some lunch, that’s all.

The 2nd construction worker gives a "Say what?" look, the 3rd one just smiles nervously. Billy turns to where Link was thrown.

BILLY: Hey, Link.

El and Deanna both realize – they’ve forgotten to watch Link!

EL: Link?

DEANNA: [worried:] Link?

El stands up – they have to find him.

EL: Link?

========== 14:12 to 14:41 ==========

exterior (daytime) – bus stop:

At the bus stop, Link (not wearing the tourist shirt anymore) arrives as another bus is pulling in. He slaps the front of the bus curiously. The bus door opens and Link jumps back.

exterior (daytime) – burger barn:

Out front of the Burger Barn, Billy, Gloria, and Johnny B run out one door and meet up with El and Deanna coming out of another door – all of them looking around for Link. He’s not there though, so Billy takes charge.

BILLY: Okay, okay, look. We’ll find ‘im, we’ll find ‘im. Uh, I-I’m gonna cover the alley, [to Johnny B and Gloria:] you guys hit the intersection. Okay? Take off.

Johnny B and Gloria “take off”.

bus stop:

Link gets on the bus (marked Hollywood) and the bus driver gives him a strange look before driving off without asking him for fare.

========== 14:41 to 14:59 ==========

exterior (daytime) – burger barn:

Outside the Burger Barn, Billy and Deanna are standing by a pay phone; El is coming out of the Burger Barn holding 2 drinks.

DEANNA: Billy, I really should call Komack. I mean, Link is out there somewhere, and I’m responsible.

BILLY: And we’ll find ‘im. Hey, Deanna, this is L.A., babe. Okay?

Billy leads Deanna away from the pay phone; El follows, smiling and watching Deanna, which causes him to run into a bush.

BILLY: I mean, he’s just a little guy in a loincloth, and no shoes, and no money, and, uh, no map to the stars’ homes. I mean, how far can he get?

They head toward the Fundae.

========== 14:59 to 15:43 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

(“Act Naturally” starts up.)

Meanwhile, in Hollywood, Link is walking down a very crowded boulevard, looking around. A man stares at Link, who smiles back. Suddenly a boisterous woman tourist grabs Link and positions him in front of her husband, who has the camera.

WOMAN TOURIST: Oh, an actor!

Link looks a bit confused as the husband takes several pictures, Woman Tourist positioning Link for each one. It’s over quickly and Woman Tourist lets Link go, pressing a bill into his hand.

WOMAN TOURIST: Thank you so much. And if you’re ever in Dubuque, please stop and see us. [with a squeal:] I could just die!

Woman Tourist and her husband leave. Link smells the bill then holds it in his mouth (he sure likes to eat money doesn’t he?) before resuming walking. Later, Link holds the bill and is grinning as he continues on his way down the street.

========== 15:43 to 16:05 ==========

exterior (daytime) – burger barn:

(“Act Naturally” still plays.)

At the Fundae, Johnny B (putting his jacket back on) and Gloria have come back to report.

JOHNNY B: We looked all over, Hayes. No luck.

GLORIA: But there’s a woman down there who thought she saw a little guy climb into a Hollywood bus.

El is brushing off his jacket from his encounter with the bush.

BILLY: Alright, listen. I spoke with Jane, uh, downtown. She spoke to her cop friends, and they’re gonna help us out, okay? So I think we oughta split up right now.

Deanna nods.

BILLY: Um, Deanna, why don’t you go with, um…

Billy makes a pretense of thinking, then looks at El, who glares and mouths “Not me. No!”, which Billy ignores.


Billy looks to Deanna. She looks at El then nods with a smile.

BILLY: Great idea. Why don’t you guys go down to the courthouse and meet Jane down there?

Billy looks back at El, who gives him a nervous smile.

BILLY: Great. [points toward Fundae, looking at Johnny B and Gloria] We’ll jump in the truck and start cruisin’.

Billy heads off.

========== 16:05 to 16:27 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

(“Act Naturally” still plays.)

(sign: ‘See the real ‘Jaws’ up close. Maybe too close. Only on the Universal Studios Tour’.)

At a bus stop, Link is squatting on a bench next to a well-dressed man reading a newspaper. Behind the bench, another man is waiting impatiently for the bus and giving Link odd looks. Link looks over at the well-dressed man and copies his cross-legged posture - which causes him to drop to a sitting position. Link then picks up some discarded brown paper and holds it in imitation of how the well-dressed man is holding the newspaper. The well-dressed man switches his legs and starts tapping his foot. Link copies this as well. The man behind the bench stares, wondering what Link is finding to read on this blank paper.

========== 16:27 to 16:36 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

(“Act Naturally” still plays.)

In the Fundae, Billy, Johnny B, and Gloria are driving down a Hollywood street.

interior - Fundae:

BILLY: Look. Come on, guys, it’s gotta work. I mean, how hard can it be to find one… very strange guy?

========== 16:36 to 17:11 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

(“Act Naturally” still plays.)

On Hollywood Boulevard, Link walks over some of the movie stars’ stars. He spots a guy on roller skates wearing cheetah-print Speedos and mistakes him for another ‘wild man out in the city’ like himself. He talks to the guy excitedly, and points at the guy’s bushy hairdo, but of course the guy isn’t any more of an aborigine than anyone else Link has met and doesn’t understand what Link is saying. Link is intrigued by the roller skates and holds out the money. The guy seems to think Link wants his roller skates and shrugs in refusal. Link walks on, grinning. Later, Link sees a car wash place and stops to stare.

========== 17:11 to 17:20 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

(“Act Naturally” still plays.)

In the Fundae, Billy, Johnny B, and Gloria are driving down another Hollywood street.

========== 17:20 to 17:30 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

(“Act Naturally” still plays.)

At the car wash place, Link is sitting on a car hood, having just gone through the car wash along with the car. The attendants wave him off as he shakes the water from his hair. Link jumps down off the car hood, grinning, and trots away, eager to find more things to explore.

========== 17:30 to 17:41 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

(“Act Naturally” fades off.)

In the Fundae, Billy, Johnny B, and Gloria are driving down another Hollywood street.

interior - Fundae:

GLORIA: Billy, I’m really scared for him. He’s out there somewhere all alone. Do you know what could happen to him?

BILLY: Yeah. Well, if Stetmeyer finds out what happened, you know what could happen to us?

========== 17:41 to 18:30 ==========

interior – humanidyne:


At H.I.T., Dick is standing at Miss Nance’s desk, holding her phone.

DICK: [to Miss Nance:] I’m gonna take away their parking spaces.

Miss Nance is busy doing her nails (there's a ‘Will return’ sign in front of her with its hand pointing to four o’clock).

DICK: And their electricity. And their floor. An—

Dick suddenly remembers he’s holding the phone and holds it out to Miss Nance.

DICK: Could you?

Miss Nance points to the ‘Will return’ sign.

MISS NANCE: Coffee break.


Dick pushes the button on the phone himself.

DICK: [into phone:] Yes? What? No, uh, no, they’re not here.

Meanwhile, behind Dick, a tech with a giant bug zapper is busily rushing back and forth.

DICK: [into phone:] Well, who’s this? Oh, oh! Dr. Komack. Yes, I-I’ve heard so much about you. No, I haven’t seen them. Uh, have you? No? Uh, well, uh, two hours... I was hoping that Hayes and Lincoln would— ‘Crackpots’? I don’t know about that. Uh, you know, at Humanidyne here— I’m Dick Stetmeyer. And why is that funny?

Now, 2 techs in gas masks – carrying a large red can of bug spray – hurry over to the exit doors, which are propped open. Another tech is suspended at ceiling level over the pile of garbage cans outside with only his flailing legs visible through the doorway. The 2 techs try in vain to aim the large spray can, but whatever it is holding the third tech is moving too fast for them.

DICK: [into phone:] Doctor, there’s no need to call the police. I’m sure as soon as I hear from them— No, you mustn’t worry, I’m sure they’re being very discreet.

========== 18:30 to 18:53 ==========

exterior (daytime) – street:

A police car drives down the street.

interior – police car:

El, Jane, and Deanna, are being driven by Officer Bobby.

OFFICER BOBBY: [into radio:] All units in the vicinity of Hollywood and Vine, this is Unit Four. We got ourselves a missing persons. Sort of. Keep an eye out for a dark kid, naked.

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

The Fundae drives down another street.

OFFICER BOBBY: [from Fundae’s police band radio:] Except for a loincloth. And keep this one kind of casual.

interior – fundae:

Billy adjusts a knob on the police band radio.

BILLY: [to Johnny B and Gloria:] Okay, it looks like Jane’s on it. Now, I’ll monitor the police band, why don’t you guys get out and look. I mean, how far could he go?

========== 18:53 to 19:04 ==========

interior – police car:

Jane, eating, looks over at Officer Bobby.

JANE: Bobby, I really appreciate you, you know, keeping this whole thing a big secret.

OFFICER BOBBY: [smiling:] For you, anything. You know that.

JANE: Do you think maybe we could lose the sound effect?

OFFICER BOBBY: No problem.

Jane nods a thank you as Officer Bobby turns the siren off.

========== 19:04 to 19:23 ==========

interior – komack’s office:

In his office, Komack is calling the police.

KOMACK: [into phone:] Hello, Sergeant? This is Dr. Komack. I want—I want to report a missing person. Well, it’s a little brown guy, naked except for a loincloth. And he’s with— You did? They what?!

========== 19:23 to 20:07 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

Billy has parked the Fundae at a street corner and is standing by it. Johnny B comes around from the other side and Gloria exits with a boombox that’s playing ‘Land of 1000 Dances’ (to lure Link with?). Billy gives them the new instructions, while watching a lady passing by.

BILLY: Hey, you guys go down about four blocks, I’ll swing around and meet you. Okay?

Johnny B watches the lady as well. She passes by without looking at them, so Billy shrugs and gets back in the Fundae. Gloria grabs Johnny B’s arm to put his attention back on the task at hand and they walk forward, arm in arm. Man on roller skates starts singing a cappella to Gloria, skating by her.

MAN: I got some honeysuckle chocolate dripping kisses for you baby.

GLORIA: [annoyed:] Like I really need this now.

Gloria uses her TK to trip up Man and he falls onto his back with a groan. She and Johnny B keep walking. Pusher steps forward and puts his hand on Johnny B’s shoulder.

PUSHER: Hey, man, listen here. I’ve got some stuff for you, make you feel real good.

Johnny B returns Pusher’s chummy act with a pat on the cheek.

JOHNNY B: Not interested.

PUSHER: [undeterred:] Aww. Hey, the lady, then? Oh man, I get this stuff for you, you take it, it’ll do things to you ain’t never been done before.

Johnny B stops and lifts his sunglasses up to show off that his eyes are glowing brightly underneath. Pusher is understandably amazed.

PUSHER: Whoa! Better yet, you set me up with some of what you got.

Johnny B puts his sunglasses back down and heads forward again; Gloria, smiling, follows.

PUSHER: [still amazed:] Whoa, man. Whoa. Whoa.

Woman Tourist (same one who took Link’s picture), followed closely by her husband with the camera, pushes between Johnny B and Gloria and grabs Pusher.

WOMAN TOURIST: Another movie star! Look at this. [directing hubby:] Take his picture. [to Pusher:] Come over here. Put your arm around me, like this.

Woman Tourist squeals. Johnny B and Gloria continue on, amused.

PUSHER: [smarmily:] Yeah, man. I’m Robert DeNiro.

Woman Tourist squeals again.

========== 20:07 to 21:06 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

Walking down a street, Link smiles at a little boy who’s passing by, hand-in-hand with his father. The boy smiles back. Link watches as the boy walks happily beside his father. Link looks sad for a moment before shaking it off and turning away. He spots something and freezes – he’s seen a Space Shuttle replica in a shop window.

LINK: Shunda.

He steps forward to look closer.

LINK: [happily:] Shunda!

Link runs inside the shop and climbs into the shop window display area.

STORE MANAGER: [to Link:] Hey get outta there! Get outta the window! What’re you doing there?!

Link knocks a few things about as he hastily grabs the Space Shuttle replica.

STORE MANAGER: Somebody get him outta there! [to Charlie:] Hey, Charlie, Charlie, you’re good at helping the crazies.

Mission accomplished, Link climbs back out and exits the shop.

STORE MANAGER: [to Link:] Hey!

Link runs off. Store Manager exits and looks in the direction Link went, then looks around for help. He spots Policeman at the corner.


Policeman turns.

STORE MANAGER: Police! Over here!

Policeman runs up to Store Manager, who’s waving frantically.


Policeman shushes Store Manager and pulls out his radio.

POLICEMAN: [into radio:] Unit Four, I may have your missing person in sight. I’m pursuing on foot near Hollywood and Wilcox.

Policeman runs off in pursuit of Link.

STORE MANAGER: [indignantly:] He took my Shuttle!

A crowd has gathered because of the commotion.

STORE MANAGER: [to crowd:] He took my Shuttle!

========== 21:06 to 21:16 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

The Fundae drives down a street.

POLICE DISPATCHER: [from Fundae’s radio:] Uh, Unit Four, we may have your missing person in sight.

interior – police car:

Komack is being driven in a police car.

POLICE DISPATCHER: [from radio:] We got a guy in a loincloth here, proceeding to Hollywood and Vine.

KOMACK: [to cop driving the car:] Go, man.

========== 21:16 to 23:21 ==========

exterior (daytime) – hollywood:

Link comes around the corner at a run and stops in an alley. He puts his newly “acquired” Space Shuttle replica in his pouch and hurries over to the fire escape of an apartment building. He puts his bill in his mouth and quickly starts up the first ladder. Policeman sent by Store Manager arrives at a run as well.

POLICEMAN: Hey, hold it right there, mister!

Policeman runs over to the fire escape. Link has reached the top of the first ladder, he leaps across a gap to another ladder and continues to climb higher.

Meanwhile, the Fundae is driving by on the cross-street. Gloria spots Link.

GLORIA: There’s Link!

JOHNNY B: Hayes, there he is, on the fire escape.

Link has reached the top of the 2nd ladder and is climbing onto the balcony it led to. Another cop is now on the balcony directly above Link. The Fundae turns down the alley and parks nearby. Billy, Johnny B, and Gloria hurriedly exit and run over to the fire escape.

GLORIA: [calling:] Link!

BILLY: Aw, Link.

A crowd is gathering as Billy runs up to Policeman, who has his gun out.

BILLY: No, man, he’s my friend. Well, a-actually, [indicates Johnny B] his friend.

Policeman puts his gun away. Link slips and grabs onto the bottom of the balcony.

GLORIA: [worriedly:] Won’t somebody help ‘im? He’s gonna fall!

Gloria keeps Link in her line of sight – she may need to use her TK. Link pulls out the Space Shuttle replica and holds it up to the sky. It slips from his hand and falls down, smashing to pieces on the ground. Poor Link is upset that his “shunda” didn’t fly, and struggles to maintain his hold on the balcony. It’s no use though, Link’s hand slips and he starts his inevitable fall.

GLORIA: Link, no!

Gloria quickly uses her TK to slow Link’s fall and he lands gently on his feet, looking around in total surprise.

MALE VOICE FROM CROWD: Oh my god, how’d he do that?

Sirens are heard coming closer and Billy hurries toward Link.

BILLY: [to Johnny B and Gloria:] Come on, let’s get him in the truck. We’ll get him in the truck. Come on.

The police car with Komack arrives and the crowd (which now includes Store Manager) parts to either side.

LINK: [confused as to why his “shunda” didn’t fly:] Shunda. No!

Komack exits the police car, looking furious.

KOMACK: [to Billy:] Okay. We’re taking over now.

BILLY: Hey, Komack—

KOMACK: [cutting him off:] He’s outta your hands. And you tell Deanna she’s off this project. [to Link:] Come here, son.

Komack grabs Link by the ear.

KOMACK: [to Link:] Easy, easy, easy, easy. Come on, easy.

The cop from the police car comes over and helps Komack drag Link toward the police car.

BILLY: What’re you doing?

KOMACK: [to Link:] Atta boy. Atta boy.

Billy, Johnny B, and Gloria follow helplessly.

BILLY: Will you let go of him, Komack?

KOMACK: [to cop:] Take it easy, don’t hurt ‘im. Open the door.

The cop opens the back door.

BILLY: Come on, take it easy on ‘im.

KOMACK: [to cop:] I’ve got ‘im. Let’s get him in, now.

Komack and the cop force Link into the back seat.

KOMACK: [to Link:] Come on, son. That’s it. That’s it.

Billy gives Johnny B and Gloria a frustrated look before turning back to Komack.

BILLY: Come on, let go of ‘im.

The cop closes the back door; Komack gets into the passenger side.

KOMACK: [to Billy:] You’re gonna hear from me later. All of you.

LINK: Shunda!

Billy steps to the backseat window.

BILLY: [to Link:] Hang in there, Link.

LINK: Shunda!

The police car drives off, Link wailing. Billy watches it go then rejoins Johnny B and Gloria – all 3 look downhearted. The Space Shuttle replica lies on the ground in sad, broken pieces.

========== 23:21 to 24:14 ==========

interior – komack’s office:

DEANNA: [appealing:] If we keep him locked up, we can’t—

KOMACK: [interrupts:] Put his life in danger again? Is that what you want?

Billy and Deanna are facing Komack, who’s sitting at his desk. Dick is there as well.

BILLY: [adamantly:] What we want is to give ‘im a chance to show us why he’s here.

DICK: [to Billy:] Maybe he just wants to go window shopping. Have you seen these bills?

Komack gives Dick a look then puts forth his other grievances.

KOMACK: Not to mention the involvement with the police and the press.

Billy tries to object, but he can’t get a word in edgewise as Dick and Komack start talking over each other. Deanna shakes her head.

DICK: Twenty-six hundred dollars. Twenty-six hundred dollars in one catalog store. One catalog…

KOMACK: You’ve managed to turn a perfectly good scientific investigation…

DICK: …There’s a solar-powered pet watering dish…

KOMACK: …into a media circus.

DICK: …That’s a hundred and sixty-nine dollars. A crystal chronometer…

Komack realizes Dick is talking over him and stands up.

KOMACK: [loudly:] Excuse me!

Dick stops talking and looks at Komack.

DICK: Uh, uh…

KOMACK: Excuse me. Could you spare us your fiscal reports?

Dick is cowed.

DICK: I just thought—

KOMACK: Well, don’t think!

Komack turns back to Billy and Deanna.

KOMACK: Now, this is what I want. I want the primitive to remain in his habitat.

Billy reacts with frustration; Deanna nods resignedly.

KOMACK: And for us to study him in a safe, scientific way. [angrily:] And, come hell or high water, that’s the way it’s going to be!

Dick gives Komack a submissive nod then turns to Billy and Deanna with a ”Well, that’s that” shrug. Billy does a double take at Dick.

========== 24:14 to 24:47 ==========

exterior (daytime) – Habitat:

In one of the nearby habitat, a caged tiger paces restlessly. At Link’s habitat, Link is in his boat, chanting and holding up the bill given to him by Woman Tourist; Johnny B is lying next to the water’s edge, trying to engage Link.

JOHNNY B: Remember the one we did last night? [singing a cappella:] There she goes just-a walkin’ down the street, singin’ do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do.

Link ignores him and continues to chant.

JOHNNY B: Come on, that was your favorite. [singing a cappella:] She looked good—

Johnny B stops – it’s not working. Link chants more. Johnny B watches for a minute, then sighs and starts chanting as well.

[together:] JOHNNY B: Ah, ah, ah, ah. LINK: Ah, ah, ah, ah.

========== 24:47 to 25:11 ==========

interior – library:

In a library, El and Deanna are walking on different aisles, a shelf between them.

DEANNA: I appreciate the support, El, but Komack’s right. I blew it.

They meet up at the end of the shelf. Deanna adds 2 books (one of which is ‘The Ascent Of Man’) to the top of the tall stack El is carrying for her (how sweet!) and they continue on down the main aisle.

EL: Look, Dee, a good scientist has got to be prepared to go out on a limb. He’s got to have the courage to make mistakes.

DEANNA: I just wish I could be more like you.

EL: [surprised:] Like me?

DEANNA: Absolutely. You do your homework. Your research is meticulous. You’re solid, conservative, straight ahead, and you don’t take chances.

Deanna heads off down another aisle. El sighs - if this is the way she thinks of him, it's going to be harder to take the chance of asking her out.

EL: Thanks.

========== 25:11 to 28:41 ==========

exterior (daytime) – Habitat:

At Link’s habitat, Gloria and Jane come walking down the path, carrying some magazines. Link, standing by his lean-to holding a basket, spots them. He quickly drops the basket, and starts forward curiously; Gloria and Jane join Billy (standing) and Johnny B (sitting), who are already there.

JANE: Hi guys.

BILLY: Hi. How ya doin’?

JANE: I thought at least we could bring the outside world to him.

Jane hands her stack of magazines to Billy as Link joins the group.

BILLY: [cautioning the others:] Whoa, look at this. Hold it.

Link gestures to Jane, looking to Johnny B for an explanation. Johnny B points to Jane.

JOHNNY B: Jane. Her name is Jane.

Link stares at Jane and starts walking around her, as if to view her from all angles. Everybody watches.

JOHNNY B: [filling Jane in:] Jane, Tarzan. The original.

Jane looks slightly nervous as Link comes back around to in front of her and crouches down. She grabs Billy’s arm.

JANE: Hayes, what’s he doing?

BILLY: Nah, that’s okay, it’s okay. He’s really gentle. He seems to like everybody.

JOHNNY B: [quips:] Yeah, everybody except Hayes.

Billy gives Johnny B a look; Link puts both hands on Jane’s stomach reverently. Everybody watches expectantly, Billy crouching down as well.

BILLY: Maybe he’s got a pregnant wife back home, or something.

GLORIA: [shrugs] Maybe he just likes it.

Jane puts her hands on top of Link’s as he continues to gently feel her stomach. Link looks over at Billy, tears in his eyes.

LINK: [sadly:] Keeya.

BILLY: Maybe he means that doll he’s got.

Link lowers his head till it touches Jane’s stomach and repeats his lament.

LINK: [sadly:] Keeya.

BILLY: Link, ‘Keeya’. What’s ‘Keeya’? Link. ‘Keeya’?

Link pulls out his carving from his pouch and holds it up.

LINK: [sadly:] Keeya.

BILLY: [sighs] I know, but what?

Link puts one hand back on Jane’s stomach and grips his carving with the other. He looks between Billy and Johnny B, willing them to understand. They don’t, so he stands up with a frustrated yell and walks off a ways.

LINK: [wailing:] Keeya!

Billy stands back up and they all watch as Link makes a ‘Wait’ gesture. He hurries over to the water area and indicates the flowing stream then places his hand on his chest to indicate himself standing there. The others all follow and watch, Billy crouching down again. Link mimes doing labor of some kind, like chopping or thrashing, then points to his carving again.

LINK: Keeya.

Link holds the carving out and walks it along in mid-air, making playful sounds as if it’s a child walking along. He puts his hand on his chest again and goes back to miming the labor. Still in the guise of himself hard at work, he turns toward where he had shown the carving skipping along and shoos at it in an irritated manner – a “Daddy has work to do, play somewhere else” motion – and goes back to work. The others watch his pantomime carefully. Link next indicates that he’s back in the guise of Keeya. He puts his hands in the shape of a butterfly and flaps them. Still acting as Keeya, he becomes intrigued by this and follows the butterfly, trying to grab it out of the air. Link shows the butterfly flying over to the water’s edge. He mimes a last grab for it, then drops the carving into the water, where it falls face-down with a splash. Link rushes over to where he was last miming himself and mimes hearing a cry for help. The others are still watching, gravely now. Desperately, Link returns to the water’s edge, racing back and forth and frantically calling the name of his child. He leaps up onto the rock and shouts the name with distress. He’s overcome with the memory and the guilt of the real event and drops to his knees on the ground, screaming the name in pain. As Link continues to wail, Gloria and Jane look on with sympathy – Jane with her hand on her stomach, thinking of her own child. Johnny B heads forward to comfort Link. Billy miserably voices the conclusion.

BILLY: Keeya drowned.

Link tosses something in the water angrily and crouches by a tree, still overcome.

BILLY: His kid drowned.

Johnny B puts his hand on Link’s shoulder in sympathy. Link throws his arms around Johnny B’s legs and cries.

LINK: [mournfully:] Keeya.

========== 28:41 to 29:40 ==========

interior – library:

In the library, Gloria has joined El and Deanna at a desk.

GLORIA: Then he drew this triangle.

Gloria, standing opposite them, draws a triangle on a piece of paper.

GLORIA: It was so sad.

El looks back at the book he’s holding (he’s got a pencil over his ear and one in his hand).

DEANNA: But it would make sense. The child drowned and they never recovered the body.

EL: Wait, here it is. It says here: [reading:] Although it is unusual for the prehistoric tribes of the Philippines to make totems, they sometimes carve figures representing the souls [looks at them both significantly] of dead relatives.

DEANNA: [realizing:] Well, that would explain why his doll is so precious to ‘im. If it’s his child’s soul…

GLORIA: Well, that’s what he did next. He put the doll on top of the triangle and he went just like this.

Gloria puts both hands outstretched in front of her and raises them up slowly.

EL: Trying to lift the doll and the triangle into the sky.

El looks to Deanna.

GLORIA: Or maybe into heaven.

EL: [to Deanna:] Does he know about heaven?

DEANNA: Well, maybe not heaven, but he knows about gods.

EL: Wait. If the boy drowned—

DEANNA: [finishes:] Then they weren’t able to cremate the remains.

GLORIA: So instead of the smoke lifting Keeya’s soul into heaven…

EL: He needs us to help him do it.

El picks up the paper Gloria drew the triangle on.

EL: But with what?

========== 29:40 to 30:30 ==========

exterior (daytime) – Habitat:

Meanwhile, back at Link’s lean-to, Billy (standing), Johnny B, and Jane (both sitting) are watching Link. He’s crouched in front of them using a leaf to demonstrate something flying then falling, all the while making a whooshing sound.

BILLY: What is that, Link? Is it some sort of bird, or something?

Link picks up another leaf and starts again, standing and making it more elaborate.

JOHNNY B: It’s like some magic bird, or something.

Link turns in a circle.

BILLY: “Magic bird”. The catalogs! Wait a minute.

Billy hurries over and crouches by Johnny B and Jane, where the catalog stack is.

JANE: What are you looking for?

Billy finds a newspaper in the stack, checks to see it’s the one he wants, and, indicating a certain story, hands it to Johnny B (Billy can’t engage Link himself after all!).

BILLY: Show him that.

Johnny B gets up to comply; Billy helps Jane up.


Link is still making the whooshing sound and elaborate flying maneuvers. Johnny B waits for an opportunity, then puts the newspaper in front of Link.


Link looks.

LINK: [with excitement:] Shuuunda!!

Johnny B smiles at Billy.

LINK: Shunda!

Link snatches the newspaper – there's a big picture of the Space Shuttle Discovery (headline: “Ultra-secret cargo for Shuttle”).

LINK: Shunda.

Link shows the picture to Billy excitedly.

LINK: [triumphantly:] Shunda.

JOHNNY B: [to Billy:] You got it.

BILLY: Works for me.

Billy puts on his jacket and heads off. Johnny B and Jane both smile as Link kisses the picture, then gives Johnny B a ‘Thank you’ smile.

========== 30:30 to 31:19 ==========

interior – university:

In the hallway outside Komack's office, Billy, El, and Dick have updated Komack. (Komack has a bandage on his right hand – did Link bite him?)

KOMACK: Absolutely not. Forget it.

El sighs as Komack turns to leave. Billy steps forward to stop Komack.

BILLY: This—this guy paddled halfway across the world for the sake of his child’s soul.

Dick listens, looking thoughtful.

BILLY: And you’re saying you’re gonna stop him from fulfilling—

KOMACK: I’m saying he’s staying right here in the safety of the habitat. And that’s that.

Billy turns to Dick.

BILLY: Richard, isn’t there something you can do for us here?

DICK: Billy, i-if it were up to me— [to Komack, suddenly:] E—eight thousand miles is a long way—

KOMACK: [to Dick, rudely:] Can you butt out?

DICK: [affronted:] Now just a minute—

Komack walks toward his office, ending Dick’s protest. Billy rolls his eyes and quickly follows, El and Dick close behind.

KOMACK: He’s not leaving, and that’s the end of it.

EL: [vehemently:] Wrong.

interior – komack’s office:

Inside, El continues as Komack walks over and sits at his desk, turned away from them all; Billy wearily leans on Komack’s desk; Dick hovers nearby.

EL: No, look. Link has travelled a long, long way.

Billy looks at El with impressed surprise – being so adamant is usually his job.

EL: And if he needs a little help to make it the last few feet, he can count on me.

Billy straightens up – he’s behind what El is saying 100 percent.

BILLY: [firmly:] On us.

Komack turns back toward them at this show of solidarity, but it hasn’t gotten the reaction they’d hoped for.

KOMACK: I’m calling the police.

Komack picks up the phone receiver. Dick, looking suddenly purposeful, takes off his glasses and hands them to Billy.

DICK: I don’t think so.

Komack stares in disbelief as Dick firmly presses the button in the phone cradle, disconnecting the call. Dick stares Komack down as Billy and El watch in speechless amazement.

========== 31:19 to 31:46 ==========

interior – komack’s office:

Komack is now gagged and tied to a chair, sans his outer clothes. Dick, bending over him, is apologetic.

DICK: Uh, I’m terribly sorry about this, but they’re right. If I’d travelled across the ocean in a handmade canoe for the sake of my dead child, I think even I would resent being locked up in some monkey home.

Dick straightens and looks at Billy and El, who are holding Komack’s outer clothes.

DICK: Now don’t for one minute think this is company policy. I’m on my own time here.

Billy and El smile and nod.

BILLY: Thanks, Stet.

DICK: Just don’t— Get outta here.

Billy and El hurry out, still smiling. Dick suddenly covers his mouth nervously, as if he’s only just now realizing the magnitude of what they’ve just done.

========== 31:46 to 31:59 ==========

exterior (daytime) – Habitat:

At the Habitat, the plan to smuggle Link out is underway: Johnny B, Deanna, and Link (disguised in Komack’s outer clothes and hat) are in one little cart, heading for the outer gate; Billy, El, Gloria, and Jane are behind them in another cart. The security guard, not suspicious at all, opens the gate and waves them through.

SECURITY GUARD: Have a nice day.

========== 31:59 to 32:26 ==========

exterior (daytime) – university grounds:

Outside, the 2 carts arrive at the parked Fundae. Johnny B and Deanna help Link into the back, then Johnny B follows; Billy and Gloria run and get in the front; El helps Jane off the cart and into the back.

EL: [to himself:] Okay, this time for sure.

El turns to Deanna – this seems like a good time to ask her out.

EL: Uh…

Deanna is caught up in the excitement of helping Link and isn’t really listening.

DEANNA: That’s it?

EL: Deanna, there’s something I wanna ask you.

DEANNA: [grinning:] We did it.

EL: About this weekend.

DEANNA: [overjoyed:] We did it!

Deanna jumps up and puts her arms around El’s neck – and El shrinks, of course. Johnny B, now behind Deanna, gives an “Oh, man” expression as Deanna looks down at El in shock. El stands up, wrapping himself in his much-too-large-for-him-now shirt, and bravely finishes his question.

EL: Are you busy Saturday night?

Deanna faints and Johnny B catches her.

========== 32:26 to 32:35 ==========

exterior (daytime) – street:

The Fundae drives down a busy street (the little red light on top blinking merrily).

JOHNNY B: Hayes, are you sure this is gonna work?

BILLY: B-Man, relax. Listen, we’ll talk to them, they’ll let Link put Keeya on the Shuttle and we’ll go home. It’s a piece of cake.

========== 32:35 to 33:09 ==========

interior – komack’s office:

In Komack’s office, Dick is on the phone to Edwards Air Force Base.

DICK: [into phone:] Oh, good afternoon, Major. This is, uh, Richard Stetmeyer from Humanidyne. We did—we did some work for you last year.

interior – Edwards Air Force Base:

At Edwards Air Force Base, Major Logger is sitting at his desk, on the other end of the phone. Other air force personnel are busy around him.

DICK: [from phone:] Uh, we worked on that tracking system you sent up and, [laughs] I know it didn’t quite function the way we had planned, but—

Major Logger interrupts.

MAJOR LOGGER: [into phone:] Whoa. Hold your breath. Maybe you are who you say you are, and maybe you aren’t.

Major Logger points at a subordinate to pick up an extension.

MAJOR LOGGER: [into phone:] You could be the press for all I know. And the last time you guys got hold of a top secret Shuttle mission, it was all over the front pages.

komack’s office:

MAJOR LOGGER: [from phone:] The Russians had a field day.

Dick straightens importantly.

DICK: [into phone:] You know, Major, I’d like to handle this on a friendly basis. But I want you to know at the outset: I’m not without friends in Washing— [emphasizes:] Washington D.C.

========== 33:09 to 33:13 ==========

exterior (daytime) – desert road:

The Fundae drives down a desert road.

========== 33:13 to 33:40 ==========

interior – komack’s office:

Dick is still on the phone.

MAJOR LOGGER: [from phone:] Look, they’re very dangerous. They could be a threat to our security.

Dick thinks this is laughable.

DICK: [into phone:] You don’t understand, they’re not dangerous. [adds as an afterthought, remembered emotional distress coming through in his voice:] Except to me.

interior – Edwards Air Force Base:

MAJOR LOGGER: [into phone:] Well, you just better pray they don’t crack the perimeter of this base. My orders are to shoot to kill.

komack’s office:

DICK: Shoot to ki—

Dick reacts with consternation to this pronouncement, shifts the phone to his other ear, and composes himself enough to ask somewhat calmly for confirmation.

DICK: [into phone:] Seriously?

MAJOR LOGGER: [from phone:] You better believe it.

Edwards Air Force Base:

MAJOR LOGGER: [into phone:] Anyone who even tries to get near the Shuttle, they’re dead.

Major Logger hangs up his phone.

komack’s office:

Dick reacts. He clutches the silent phone receiver and closes his eyes in worry.

========== 33:40 to 33:52 ==========

exterior (daytime) – desert road:

The Fundae drives further down the desert road.

BILLY: Hey, B-Man, you’ve got to stop being so intimidated by the armed forces, okay? I mean, they’re people, with feelings, just like you and me.

JOHNNY B: Yeah, but we’re talking the Space Shuttle.

BILLY: So what? You think their orders are to shoot to kill?

========== 33:52 to 34:12 ==========

interior – Edwards Air Force Base:

At Edwards Air Force Base, Major Logger has gathered his people together to give his orders. They watch the large monitor on the wall which is showing the Space Shuttle being towed.

VOICE: [over loudspeaker:] That’s a roger, Columbia. Cleared to proceed to runway two seven.

MAJOR LOGGER: Well, for now all we can say is, we’re still checking that phone call. Security thinks it was a prank, but I’m not taking that chance. I want extra guards around the base perimeter, and I want an assembly in this room until the Shuttle leaves this base, [looks at his watch] in exactly forty-seven minutes.

========== 34:12 to 35:16 ==========

exterior (daytime) – near entrance to Edwards Air Force Base:

Across the road from the entrance to Edwards Air Force Base, the Fundae is parked by a souvenir booth. El is pacing and Deanna is sitting in the open back of the Fundae.

DEANNA: It’s my fault.

EL: No, no, it’s not your fault. It-it’s me.

El stops pacing and leans against the side of the Fundae.

EL: Ah, it’s so embarrassing, that’s all. I mean, this has never happened to me before. Not with anyone.

DEANNA: Really, El, it’s alright. It’s probably just the pressure.

EL: On the back of my neck. Right. [beat] Deanna, [sighs] do you still respect me?

Deanna smiles before answering.

DEANNA: Of course I do. El, it takes a big man to admit he’s little.

Billy hurries back across the road to the Fundae, having been talking to the guard at the entrance to Edwards Air Force Base.

JOHNNY B: Alright, so we, uh, rollin’ or what?

BILLY: [annoyed:] No way. [points at the guard] That’s not a reasonable man over there.

Gloria and Jane join the group.

GLORIA: It’s because of that top secret cargo, huh?

JANE: So, uh… What’re we gonna do, Hayes?

BILLY: [defensively:] I don’t know yet. [thinks] Something, uh… Something simple. Something safe. Something… [catches sight of something that gives him an idea] Absolutely foolproof.

Billy walks off and the others all come around the side of the Fundae to watch him.

BILLY: [to himself:] This’ll work. This’ll work.

========== 35:16 to 35:44 ==========

interior – komack’s office:

In Komack’s office, Komack is untied now and standing up (wearing a new outer shirt); Dick is sitting at Komack’s desk, clutching a skull.

DICK: [lamenting:] They’re gonna die, and I killed them.

Dick covers his face with his hand, overcome with worry.

KOMACK: Oh, stop sniveling, Stetmeyer. They’re gonna be fine. You heard me call the Highway Patrol. The CHIPs’ll find them, and hold them, until somebody with common sense gets there, that’s all.

Dick straightens, not reassured in the least.

DICK: [lamenting:] Oh, but you don’t understand. That’s the normal, sensible way to do things. I don’t think that’ll even occur to them. You see, by now they’ve had time to think of – God help us – [holds the skull tearfully] a plan.

========== 35:44 to 36:44 ==========

exterior (daytime) – near entrance to Edwards Air Force Base:

Billy has started his plan in motion – he’s writing on a manila envelope.

JANE: Hayes, I hope this plan of yours—

BILLY: Jane, it’ll work. Okay? It’s simple. Look, I’m just addressing this envelope to Major Logger.

Jane glances at Deanna and Gloria, who shakes her head.

BILLY: Then I’m just gonna drop it off with the Terminator over there. And he’s gonna get in and he’s gonna talk to Logger face-to-face. Sort of like, you know… Man to Misfit, you know what I mean?

Billy puts the manila on the ground next to El, who’s shrunk and in his tiny jogging suit.

BILLY: It’ll work. It’ll work.

El starts crawling headfirst into the manila. Link rushes forward, reaching for El, but Johnny B stops him.

JOHNNY B: Not now, Link, okay? Maybe later.

Johnny B leads Link away. El crawls all the way into the manila.

BILLY: [to El:] Ready?

El pops his head out to reply before ducking back inside.

EL: Yeah.

Billy puts the pen in his pocket and reaches down to pick up the manila.

BILLY: Alright, big guy, here we go.

Billy picks up the manila and closes its flap.

BILLY: [to Jane:] Trust me, it’ll—it’ll work.

Billy heads off, but pauses by Johnny B, who doesn’t look fully convinced.

BILLY: I think Logger’ll come around, huh?

Johnny B smirks.

JOHNNY B: Oh yeah, I think so.

Billy nods.

JOHNNY B: I mean, who’s gonna argue with a seven-foot-four naked black guy?

BILLY: Good point.

Billy leaves.

========== 36:44 to 36:50 ==========

exterior (daytime) – highway:

A police car drives down a highway.

POLICE DISPATCHER: [from radio:] Please advise. An all-points bulletin has been issued for a white ice cream truck in the vicinity of…

========== 36:50 to 38:11 ==========

exterior (daytime) – near entrance to Edwards Air Force Base:

At the Fundae, everyone waits: Jane and Gloria are inside the cab; Deanna is outside watching Johnny B and Link on the ground, where Link is teaching Johnny B one of his words.

LINK: [pointing at the rock he’s holding:] Manos.

JOHNNY B: [repeating carefully:] Manos.

Gloria raises the volume on the police band radio of Fundae.

VOICE: [from Fundae’s police band radio:] We interrupt the music with a special news bulletin. The police have just issued an all-points bulletin for the Misfits of Science—

Gloria, Jane, and Deanna exchange glances.

VOICE: [from Fundae’s police band radio:] —who are believed to be on their way to Edwards Air Force Base to stop the Shuttle transportation…

GLORIA: [calling to Johnny B and Link:] Hey guys, come here. Listen.

Johnny B comes over to stand by Deanna.

VOICE: [from Fundae’s police band radio:] …Whether it has anything to do with the Shuttle’s top secret payload due to be launched from Cape Canaveral later this week, has not been determined…

Link, still on the ground, looks over his shoulder and freezes: the Space Shuttle, behind the fence in the distance, is being towed across the open desert of the base. Link stands slowly and stares at it.

LINK: [softly:] Shunda.

Link glances toward the Fundae, then heads off. Meanwhile, the others are still listening to the bulletin.

VOICE: [from Fundae’s police band radio:] …But the Misfits of Science have had their way with the military in the past…

JANE: We’re gonna have to warn Billy.

DEANNA: But what if he’s already messengered El?

VOICE: [from Fundae’s police band radio:] …warned that they will use everything in their power to stop them.

They all look at a police car driving by.

JOHNNY B: Let’s go. Deanna, get in the back.

Johnny B gets in the driver’s seat and starts the Fundae. The police spot the Fundae and turn around. Johnny B drives across to the entrance to Edwards, where Billy is just heading back – he has messengered El.

JOHNNY B: Let’s go, Hayes!

BILLY: Maybe I didn’t go over this part of the plan too well. You guys are supposed to—

GLORIA: Hayes, get in!

Gloria reaches out for Billy and pulls him inside, then the Fundae squeals away.

(“The Heat Is On” starts up.)

Back where the Fundae had been parked, Link comes out of his hiding place inside a sign that says: “Space souvenirs. NASA.” He runs across the street to the entrance to Edwards, past the guard – who’s inside the gatehouse, not looking Link’s direction – and over to the fence. He leaps onto the fence and nimbly climbs up and over in a flash, then runs onward.

========== 38:11 to 38:19 ==========

interior – Edwards Air Force Base:

(“The Heat Is On” still plays.)

Inside Edwards, one of the guards from the entrance is bringing the manila into the Base Operations room.

SOLDIER: Major Logger? A delivery, sir.

The guard walks over to Major Logger’s desk and drops the manila onto his empty chair (the finished writing on the manila is: “To Major Logger. Personal” with 2 underlines).

========== 38:19 to 39:36 ==========

exterior (daytime) – highway:

(“The Heat Is On” still plays.)

The Fundae drives down the highway. The police car, sirens wailing, comes up from behind till the two vehicles are side-by-side.

BILLY: [to Johnny B:] Take a right.

Johnny B makes a swift right, onto a side road, gaining a bit of a head start before the police car follows in hot pursuit.

interior – fundae:

JANE: [nervously:] They, uh, wouldn’t shoot a pregnant lady, would they?


More pursuit.


BILLY: Hey, listen, Glo. Get in the back.

Gloria does so, squeezing between Billy and Jane. Johnny B, driving with reckless abandon, glances in the rearview mirror at the pursuing police car.

BILLY: [to Johnny B:] Hey, uh, I may be wrong about this, B-Man, but for insurance reasons, maybe I should drive, huh?

JOHNNY B: Who’s got insurance?

Billy stares at him.


More pursuit. The police try to pull alongside the Fundae on the right, but can’t quite make it. They instead pull into the opposite lane to try and pull alongside on the left – only there’s a big pickup truck coming in that direction! The police car fishtails onto the dirt shoulder of the road, narrowly avoiding the truck.


Gloria looks out through the curtain.

GLORIA: [worriedly:] Tell me seriously, guys. Do you think they’d split us up if we go to jail?

Jane, who looks unsettled from the crazy ride, glances at Gloria.

BILLY: [annoyed:] Jail! Come on, is this Team Misfit, or not? [whacks the dashboard] Alright, look. We’re gonna make it to the Shuttle.

Jane starts nodding, then Gloria.

BILLY: And Link’s gonna put his little statue thing onboard. And we’re gonna satisfy a human being’s consuming desire. Isn’t that right, Link?

They wait, but there's no answer, of course, since Link isn't there.

BILLY: Link?!

They all realize at the same time.

[together:] JOHNNY B: Uh oh. JANE: Uh, oh. GLORIA: Uh oh.


Johnny B turns the Fundae sharply around, causing it to nearly tip over – everyone vocally reacts – and heads back the way they came. The police car gives chase.

========== 39:36 to 39:42 ==========

interior – Edwards Air Force Base:

(“The Heat Is On” still plays.)

Major Logger heads back to his desk and is about to sit on his chair – the manila is still there (poor El!) – when he’s interrupted by a report and remains standing – luckily!

VOICE: [over loudspeaker:] Major Logger? We have an intruder running for the Shuttle.

Monitor: Shuttle.

========== 39:42 to 39:59 ==========

exterior (daytime) – highway:

(“The Heat Is On” still plays.)

The Fundae drives on. Deanna spots Link, who’s running towards the Shuttle flat out.

DEANNA: Hayes, there he is.

interior – fundae:

BILLY: Hey, B-Man, maybe we oughta stop here, because I’m sure by now El’s gotten to Logger and explained. You know?


Instead of answering, Johnny B swerves and heads for the barrier covering the entrance to Edwards Air Force Base.


Jane gives a short scream as she and Billy duck down.

entrance to Edwards Air Force Base:

Johnny B drives the Fundae right through the barrier.


Johnny B grins broadly.

BILLY: Of course, on the other hand, if you’ve got something else in mind, then…

========== 39:59 to 40:34 ==========

exterior (daytime) – Edwards Air Force Base:

(“The Heat Is On” still plays.)

Soldiers are hastening into jeeps, ready to move out and face the intruders. The Fundae drives through an open gate and arrives at the runway.

interior – fundae:

Billy and Jane look out the door at the jeeps nervously.

Edwards Air Force Base:

The jeeps are on the move, their mounted guns at the ready.


Johnny B glances in the rearview mirror as Billy and Jane continue looking nervously at the jeeps.

JOHNNY B: A couple of ‘em are looking heavy.

BILLY: Aw, boy. Uh, we’re gonna have to do something here. We’re gonna have to do something, B-Man. Now!

JOHNNY B: Grab the wheel, Hayes.

BILLY: [grabs the wheel] I got it.

Edwards Air Force Base:

Johnny B leans around Billy and fires a bolt out the passenger side door – it hits between 2 of the jeeps and they swerve, but keep coming. Johnny B fires off a second bolt – it hits in front of the same 2 jeeps, but they remain undeterred.

========== 40:34 to 40:57 ==========

interior – Edwards Air Force Base:

(“The Heat Is On” still plays.)

Inside Edwards Air Force Base, Major Logger is watching the monitor.

MAJOR LOGGER: [into radio:] Hey, I don’t know what’s going on out there, but...

Monitor: the Fundae drives on.

MAJOR LOGGER: [into radio, commandingly:] You have orders to shoot to kill!

Major Logger starts to sit down again.

EL: [from manila:] Hey, wait!

Major Logger jumps and moves away, looking down at the manila, which is moving. Major Logger watches in shock as (offscreen) the manila is torn open by El returning to his normal size. Major Logger drops his radio in surprise.


El is now standing precariously on Major Logger’s chair, a map wrapped around himself. (Billy’s idea or did El grab it off the desk?)

EL: [hurriedly:] Don’t shoot! They’re the Misfits of Science!

========== 40:57 to 45:24 ==========

exterior (daytime) – Edwards Air Force Base:

(“The Heat Is On” still plays.)

More pursuit. The Fundae is nearly at Link, but the jeeps are also close behind!

interior – fundae:

JOHNNY B: There’s not enough time, I gotta try a run before I’m outta juice.

Gloria hears and looks out through the curtain.

GLORIA: Johnny, no!

BILLY: Hey, what’re you, crazy? We’re almost caught up. Just cut him off!

Gloria grips the back of Billy’s jacket anxiously.

GLORIA: Johnny, you’re too close to them!

Edwards Air Force Base:

In the lead jeep, the soldier manning the mounted gun raises it and levels it at the Fundae.


BILLY: Hey, they wouldn’t—they wouldn’t shoot an ice cream truck, would they?

Edwards Air Force Base:

The soldier fires and strafes the ground right by the Fundae.


Billy quickly lifts his foot out of the way of stray bullets; Johnny B ducks; Jane screams.

Edwards Air Force Base:

The soldier fires another couple of passes.


Billy stands protectively in front of Jane, who’s crouched on the floorboard; everyone looks worried.

Edwards Air Force Base:

The Fundae gets ever closer to Link as a jeep with El and Major Logger joins the fray. The Fundae catches up with Link and cuts him off. The jeeps surround the Fundae as its occupants exit. Link makes a move to leave – Johnny B takes hold of Link’s arm to keep him from doing anything the air force might mistake as hostile.

(“The Heat Is On” stops.)

Major Logger’s jeep parks right by them.

MAJOR LOGGER: [to soldiers:] Hold your fire! Hold fire!

Major Logger exits the jeep; El stands up in the back (he’s wearing a borrowed air force t-shirt – which is just a little snug on his big frame – and slacks).

BILLY: [to others:] Looks like it’s time for a little show of diplomacy here. [steps forward] Hey, Major, I—

The soldiers cock their guns and Billy steps back quickly.

BILLY: Whoa! Hey, El, didn’t you explain?

EL: I explained.

Major Logger addresses Billy angrily.

MAJOR LOGGER: Yeah, Misfits of Science. I don’t care who you are. You’re lucky all I’m doing is arresting you.

Billy stares at him, then laughs in disbelief.

BILLY: Wait a minute, I— I’m sorry, we’re lucky? Did you hear that, gang?

Billy looks over at Gloria, Jane, and Deanna, who all look nervous.

BILLY: We’re all under arrest, and it’s our lucky day, huh?

Billy gets serious and points at Link, who’s standing there, unsure what’s going on.

BILLY: Him, too?

Major Logger doesn’t answer.

BILLY: You arresting him, too, Logger?

Billy looks at Link.

BILLY: How ‘bout that, Link? You know, you finally made it to the land of freedom, [looks back at Major Logger] and this guy’s got another cage for ya.

MAJOR LOGGER: [warningly:] You just keep on talkin’, smart guy.

JANE: [warningly:] Hayes.

BILLY: No, I’ve had it! I’ve had it up to here with these guys.

Billy steps closer to Major Logger.

BILLY: What’re you gonna do, Logger? You gonna shoot us? Is that what you’re gonna do? You’re gonna shoot us? Well then, do it. Get it over with!

DEANNA: Billy, please.

Billy sighs – Jane and Deanna are right – and tries a different tack.

BILLY: Logger, do you have any idea who this guy is?

Major Logger listens, studying Link. Link waits apprehensively.

BILLY: Do you have a clue what this man’s done? [earnestly:] This little man just came across eight thousand miles of ocean and a few hundred yards of desert, just to put that little doll of his on your Shuttle. Logger, he brought the soul of his dead little boy halfway across the world just to send it up on your precious top secret Shuttle, and dammit, that’s exactly what he’s gonna do. If you want us to start tossin’ lightning bolts...

Johnny B frowns and crosses his arms.

BILLY: And tossin’ the guns out of your hands...

Gloria, Jane, and Deanna exchange glances; El looks apprehensive.

BILLY: Then we can do that. That’s fine. [gives a quick smile] And we may even beat ya. [back serious] We’re gonna help Link put that carving on that Shuttle. [beat] With you or without you.

Major Logger says nothing, but it looks as if he’s swayed somewhat. He walks past Billy to Link, who looks back warily. Everyone watches – will Major Logger agree? Major Logger lifts up Link's hand - Link is clutching his carving and a ceremonial necklace. Major Logger looks at the carving for a long minute. Link waits. Finally, Major Logger drops Link’s hand then gestures to the soldiers to move aside and let Link through. It worked! The soldiers obey and Major Logger looks back at Link with a smile and a nod. Link looks at the now clear path to the Shuttle, but he hesitates and looks over at Johnny B. Johnny B smiles and nods to show Link that it’s okay. Link looks to Billy next.

BILLY: [smiles] Go for it.

Link heads off. Gloria, Jane, and Deanna exchange smiles; El watches, smiling as well. Suddenly Link stops and turns back, looking at Billy, who is still smiling. Johnny B looks curious as to what Link is doing. Link comes back and stands in front of Billy. He grabs Billy and hugs him tightly, understanding that it was Billy’s words that tipped the scales. Johnny B looks down, thinking of how Link had previously been treating Billy. Gloria and Deanna exchange smiles; Jane holds her stomach, looking serious. After a minute, Link lets go of Billy and looks around at the others. Deanna gives him a nod. Everyone watches as Link heads for the Shuttle again, raising his arms in triumph. El, smiling and relieved, looks at the others. Gloria hugs Jane. Johnny B watches as Link heads for the Shuttle, sad to see him go.

========== 45:24 to 46:57 ==========

exterior (nighttime) – beach:

The moon is full, the beach is quiet.

exterior (nighttime) – Billy and El’s beach house:

On the back porch of Billy and El’s beach house, Billy, Johnny B, Gloria, Deanna and Billy’s Date are all sitting.

DEANNA: Has anyone seen El?

BILLY: El? Hey, it’s the big g— Hey, big guy, you okay?

El comes back outside.

EL: Hey, guys, I’m sorry. I sat down and my knees had an out-of-body experience.

El dips into a mock weak-kneed position as he goes to the table and sits by Deanna.

BILLY: Face it, big guy, you’re the essence of cool now.

El, his arm around Deanna, laughs; Deanna laughs also.

EL: Aw, no. Billy.

BILLY: No, no, I’m serious. Okay?

Billy has his arm around his date, who listens as Billy continues.

BILLY: You know, I think this—this night has changed our lives. Okay? No more science. [leans forward and points at El] You and I are goin’ all the way with The Dancing Misfits. Huh?

Everybody groans.

EL: Oh no.

BILLY: [prompting:] Huh?

EL: Billy, come on!

Billy stands up, getting into it.

BILLY: Wait, wait, wait, wait. We can do all the big shows. [ticks them off on his fingers] We got, uh, we got “Letterman”. We can do “Carson”.


BILLY: Uh, we can do, like, the “Donahue” thing.


Billy finally looks at her.

BILLY: What do you want then, babe?

BILLY’S DATE: Stop talking.

Everyone else claps and laughs.

GLORIA: Thank you.


EL: Oh ho, right.

Billy throws up his arms in defeat and sits back down, glancing at the TV, which is on with the sound down low.

TV: And now back to the studio…

GLORIA: Hey, turn it up.

TV: …fill you in with the latest update on the Space Shuttle.

Billy turns up the volume and everyone watches eagerly.

NEWSCASTER: [from TV:] Shuttle Discovery launched its top secret military payload into outer space today.

TV: graphic of three satellites appearing above Earth.

NEWSCASTER: [from TV:] Which ANC News learned to be three Star Wars test satellites.

TV: a picture of Link’s carving.

NEWSCASTER: [from TV:] And this odd, primitive carving of a man.

Gloria smiles.

NEWSCASTER: [from TV:] The Pentagon isn’t talking, but the Soviets immediately criticized the U.S. for using outer space voodoo to gain an edge in the Star Wars—

Billy turns off the TV – what they wanted to hear is over. Everybody looks satisfied and thoughtful.

GLORIA: I hope Link can find his way home.

Johnny B gives a small smile.

JOHNNY B: [profoundly:] I think he already has.

========== 46:57 to 47:10 ==========

exterior (nighttime) - ocean:

Link is sailing in his boat under the full moon. The harmonica riff from ‘Land of 1,000 dances’ is heard. (Did Johnny B give Link the harmonica? How cute!)

========== 47:10 to 48:19 ==========



  1. I guess this is the next one up. Have you thought about just posting the dialogue while you work on the rest? Or do you prefer to just show the finished product in all it's glory?

  2. I'm so happy you're enjoying reading these, M'reen :) (And so is Rosy, who really is the one doing all the hard work on them - thank you again, Rosy!)

    Yes this ep (this absolutely wonderful, funny, crazy, awesome ep) is the one we're working on currently. I'm doing the last read thru for remaining errors tomorrow, so it shouldn't be that much longer...

    Unfortunately, even tho I would LOVE to put up the dialog so you'd have something while waiting for the rest, it is in draft version only and not really something I can put up in any useful manner. I'm really sorry about that. But keep in mind that this is a project that I WILL finish even tho it takes quite a bit of time in between each one getting polished and posted.

    "Science, straight from the heart!"

  3. Your transcripts are very well done, and always capture the mood and humor of the moment, rather than just blocking out the actor's movements - so kudos to you both for your hard work!

  4. Aw, thank you! Hearing things like this really makes it all worth it :D That was one thing she and I both agreed on when we started the project - we wanted to do the scenes/actors justice. So glad to know we have!

  5. Thanks! This was a lot of fun to read!


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